By Anthony Fleg, MD
D3F Circle of Friends and DCG DADvisory Team Member
EDITOR'S NOTE: While reading Anthony's guest post below, I was reminded of the days when my own kids and grandkids were in elementary school, and I spent most of a full school day with them at the beginning of the school year. There were two primary reasons for that: 1) When they shared aspects of their school day with me throughout the year, I wanted to know something about their teachers, classmates, and school settings; and 2) Because the most desired quality kids say they want in their dad/granddad is for them to "be there." Of course, my kids' worst nightmare was when I "threatened" to do the same thing with them when they were in middle and high school!
As a former teacher and school principal, I also remember that we didn't – and still don't – always make dads feel welcome at school. We've got to work on that. Two excellent resources helping achieve that are Daddying Film Festival & Forum (D3F) Circle of Friends members, the National Alliance for Father Friendly Schools and ParentCamp.
Enjoy this week's guest post and, as always, Daddy on! – Allan
* * *
My teenager begged me not to go.
I insisted.
Tug of war began.
Daddy won.
The event was a back-to-school night at her high school. I have not made it to enough of these events in my children’s lives, and it was a moment to say "no" to other commitments. We got to go through her school day, visiting each of her classes in the succession that she follows in high school. Squeezing into desks not meant for "daddy size" and imagining what her experience in that class might be like. Walking to the next class and getting pointers from her on how one navigates hallways in a school of 2,000.
"If you walk through that doorway, you might get squished. So, I walk in this wider entrance. Oh, and never stop because you will get trampled."
Good survival tips, should I ever want to repeat high school for kicks.
Back-to-school night was about showing up. Showing up, I feel, is a central tenet to daddying. Just being there with and for our children. In showing up, we are showing them we care. A love language of just being present with them when we could be elsewhere.
There is a quote by Robert Johnson, "The world is run by those who show up."
My daddying equivalent might be: "Children’s hearts are won by dads who show up."
Enjoy back-to-school night this year y'all.
Anthony Fleg, MD, is a proud daddy of four, husband, son, and brother. Originally from Baltimore, Maryland, he has called New Mexico home since 2008. He is a family physician and educator at the University of New Mexico's Department of Family and Community Medicine and College of Population Health. He's also Coordinator and Co-Founder of the love-funded partnership, Native Health Initiative(NHI), and its Running Medicine program, both of which DCG's Daddy Appleseed Fund is a proud supporter. Follow Anthony’s Writing to Heal blog here. His book, Writing to Heal: A Pandemic Journey to Healing is available through Community Publishing.
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